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Beer League Refs – You’d Be A Lot Prettier If You Smiled More

PLEASE READ THIS FIRST

 

Listen I am no stranger to calling out things, people, or places. I’ve called out refs in the BLPA group (Yes, I still think NHL Refs should have to answer to the media after games). I’ve called our goalies on our podcast. I’ve called out the NHL. I’ve called out airlines in blogs. I’ve even called out myself. What I’m getting at is that I am not opposed to calling stuff out. BUT, this blog is not my work. I am a commish of the beer leaguers. I believe that all beer leaguers should have their voice heard if they want it to be. I have a platform for them to be heard so I am letting this beer leaguer be heard. This beer leaguer opted to not be identified. Probably because he saw goalies threaten my life when I said players pay just as much as them to play so league fees should apply to everyone. (This is not a blog to bag on that opinion but I can gladly allow you to argue with about it all you want on the podcast).

Again, I did not write this. The thoughts expressed below are not reflective of the BLPA opinion or my thoughts. Basically what I’m saying is, don’t @ me on twitter X or whatever it’s called now. If you do @ me, you’re not going to like my response. 

The Post

:shakes off left mitt:

 
:shakes off right:
 
Referees have been untouchable for too long, time for these princesses to eat a few. 
 
Beer league refs – why are you so fucking angry all the time? For chrissakes, you’re getting PAID to be there. This is your JOB. Why do you step on the ice like this is punishment for some youthful indiscretion and you’re being forced to be there?
 
Is your pants-wearing wife forcing you out of the house in hopes your alcohol addiction gets put on pause for a couple hours? Is this their way of keeping the children safe from your rage induced outbursts? Is this community service for indecent exposure at an elementary school?
 
Why the fuck are you even there if you’re going to be so goddamned surly?
 

And don’t give me “well have YOU ever had to deal with Beer League Players?”

Yea. I have. Worse, actually. I reffed fucking club hockey when I was in college for extra beer money. And you know what? I maintained my grace in dealing with those idiots cause at the end of the day I was still getting paid regardless of what dumb shit they did.

 
Oh, they want to get into a fight? That’s fine. I’ll let them tire themselves out before I get involved. They want to try and chirp me for a call they disagree with? Ok. :shrugs: I’m still getting paid.
 
I asked a ref buddy today how much money he makes per game. You know what he told me? SEVENTY FIVE FUCKING DOLLARS A GAME. $75 dollars for a little over an hour of skating around and blowing his little whistle and pretending he has some kind of real authority. 
 
Let me do some quick math for you less math inclined types. Pretend for a moment referring were a full time, 40 hour a week job. 
 
40 hours x $75 X 52 weeks in a year – that is the equivalent to a $156,000 A YEAR JOB. TO ESSENTIALLY BABYSIT A BUNCH OF RETARDED AND DRUNK ADULTS. AND YOU WANT TO ACT LIKE A CUNT ABOUT IT?
 
I get that you probably spend a large portion of that income on heavy flow tampons and Michelob Ultra. But jesus tap dancing christ. Do you realize how fucking lucky you have it to be making that kind of money for how easy the job is? 
 
I have a well paying job. I drive a Jeep Compass. I own a boat. You know what would happen if I acted at my job the way you three ring circus clowns act at yours? I’d be fired. I’d be fired so fast I wouldn’t even have time to apply for a USA Hockey job reffing before I was asking the bank to refinance my boat. Why do you think you can act this way with impunity?
 
God. If you had even half a brain (you wouldn’t be reffing, but I digress) you’d realize that being cool with the teams you’re reffing will get you a lot more grace on the ice than trying to be figure skating mussolini’s out there. You know what refs I give the LEAST amount of shit to? The ones who treat me like an adult. You know which refs I chirp like they’re a sex worker who shorted me 15 minutes? The ones who act like dicks for no goddamn reason.
 
If you hate the job that much, quit. I promise you there is little you’re qualified to do that will pay you even half of what you’re making in the ice hockey version of the babysitters club.
 
Those who can, play hockey. Those who can’t play hockey, coach. Those who can’t coach and have fetal alcohol syndrome, ref. Or something.

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